Mick Carrigan's JUNK

there is an E.T. dildo inside this post

Hi! My name is Mick and I wrote a book about brands, toys, collections, nostalgia, and capitalism. It’s about how this stuff got so intertwined in our lives and why it feels so important. But don’t worry, I’m not hard selling right you now. I just finished writing it like, two days ago, and it’s not coming out for a year. I just want to show you some of the junk that inspired this book in the meantime.

Like this E.T. penetrative finger from 1982 by Knickerbocker toys.

Knickerbocker is the company known for producing iconic toys like the Raggedy Ann doll, as well as this toy for pretending to get fingered by E.T.—ahem, I apologize—I mean, for re-enacting the most poignant scenes of the film about sharing a deep psychic bond with an alien.

This is one of my favorite objects in my collection. The back of the card explains how to play with the toy, suggesting the child “slip” the E.T. Finger Light onto their index finger. If the finger is too long, the card suggests cutting it down to size with safety scissors. “To insure more enjoyment,” it says that the light should only be used intermittently. The battery in the toy is not replaceable.

It’s worth around $100 on eBay and occasionally goes viral on social media sites for resembling something someone has definitely put in their ass before. I admit I am shamelessly trying to catch attention with the phallic E.T. toy. Being a little shameless is kind of my brand.

I invented the most prestigious literary magazine of all time, Taco Bell Quarterly. We publish short stories, poetry, prose, and art that mentions Taco Bell for some reason. We’re in the Library of Congress and have disrupted MFA programs across the country. I’m a 45 year old trans guy from Baltimore. I’m a toy collector and dad of two gen alpha kids.

This is my first book. I need this thing to sell a million copies because I have no other way to retire unless I find a rare Labubu or something. Trying to flag down gawkers scrolling by with an E.T. dick is just one of my many schemes. I invite you to follow along for more stories about this crap and my dreams, which is what my book, JUNK: The Brands That Raised Us, the Stuff that Shaped Us, and What We Leave Behind is about. Please sign up for more updates, stories, and existential crisis!